Here's the way I work when it comes to dating.

You have this awesome five minute window in which you have the freedom to ask me out, and then it will close and you wont have that opportunity again. I usually say, "I like you, and you would probably benefit from taking me to dinner. I think that's a good idea, and i can think of 4 restaurants if you cant think of any." I've done it before and it works like a charm. No one said you have to be a wallflower. Nobody said to hope yourself into it. But I think there's a way to make yourself still be pursued, which works best.

You also shouldn't have to act like you're not into somebody. That's dumb. Your life is so outstanding, and you're so busy that you don't really have the time. Pretending to be anything is just bad. You have a full life that's got all of these different things that you do, so that the time you have for a guy is limited because you're pursuing your dreams, spending time with your family, etc. You have this rich, full bouquet that you're not willing to give up for anybody. And THAT'S hot.

I hate talking about my feelings. I hate talking about my "relationship." I know I'm a girl, and girls are supposed to be all emotional, but I'm not. I don't like it at all. I especially hate asking a guy where the relationship is going or how he feels about me. Ew. It should be natural and easy and obvious. So I guess if I have to start thinking and planning and devising all sorts of ways to find out what kind of situation I'm in, I'm probably not in that good of a situation to begin with. Shit.

But wait! Starting a new relationship is scary. Terrifying to some people. We're all old enough to know that if there has been a beginning to a relationship, there has always and end, unless you're married. And the endings always suck. So of course people will create all sorts of tricks and diversions and distractions to try to not notice that we might be getting into a relationship. Understandable. So what if in the beginning or a while into it, it's a little vague? Who wants to be that insane bitch who needs to know exactly what is going on the minute she meets a guy? You want to be the cool girl, the girl who knows how to hang out and not be all demanding. That's who I always am.

The thing about that cool girl is that she still gets her feelings hurt. She still has reactions to how she's being treated. She still hopes he'll call. She still wonders when she'll get to see him again, or if he's excited about seeing her. I hate that. I really do. Maybe this is just me, because my priorities have changed as I've gotten older. But now I don't want to be "sort of dating" someone. I don't want to be "kind of hanging out" with someone. I don't want to spend a lot of energy suppressing all my feelings so I appear uninvolved.

I want to be involved. I want to be with someone I know I'll see again because they've already demonstrated to me that they're trustworthy and honorable, and that they like me. Yeah, in the beginning you have to be somewhat cautious about how much you give away. But that caution shouldn't be to make THEM feel more comfortable- it should be because you know that you're a valuable creature who should be careful about who gets your affection. That's what I'm doing now. And it's not going so badly.

No more murky, no more gray, no more unidentified, and no more undeclared.

I'm in Australia.

....I'm in AUSTRALIA.

Ausiland.

And it's Sunday. Or Monday? Whatever. I'M IN AUSTRALIA.

The story as to how I got here is RIDICULOUS. But that's another entry for another time. Especially when I'm not jet-lagged like a little bitch.

I was on the trapeze today and ALMOST caught my Cutaway Rudy, or otherwise known as a Cutaway One and a Half Twist. This is my third attempt in trying to catch it. Look!




The result?



Looks like I got crucified.